12/03/11 - Shit Storm

December 3rd, 2011, 11:55 pm

Rori, December 3rd, 2011, 11:52 pm

Do I need to comment on this?

In other news: I want to be a Bird Witch.

Advertisement, August 25th, 2019, 8:17 pm

Talk to the Robot!
shalahoyden, December 4th, 2011, 11:14 am

I want your coworker! Mine just look at me strangely and call me weird when I say stuff like that

Laaaaaaaura (Guest), December 4th, 2011, 4:50 pm

Why don't you get a pet budgie? They're super easy to care for... just a little messy (feathers). So long as you have him on a stand or hanging from the ceiling, you don't have to worry about Pussy getting him and you get a real life version of Tweety and Puddy Tat cartoons.

Gibson Twist, December 4th, 2011, 11:45 pm

I would get the cat a ladder, and I would root for it, because budgies are the lowest rung on the food chain.

The_Hankerchief, December 5th, 2011, 1:23 am

Good call, Gibson!

One of my grandmother's friends has the most horrible things imaginable nailed to the top of the wall in his barn. See, he used to be a berry farmer, and the starlings would swoop in and steal his berries off the vine. So, he created the most diabolical trap I've ever seen.

It's a birdhouse that sits above a funnel. When the starlings land on it (it's so high up on the wall only a bird as small as a starling can stand on it), the peg collapses and the bird falls into the funnel (and it slides down in a manner that the starling cannot spread its wings or use its feet to stop its descent.) Beneath the funnel is a wire cage, about two feet long by three feet wide, and three feet tall. The birds fall in it... and he leaves them there. Forever. Doesn't do a thing with them. They fall in and starve to death. Doesn't even clean the cages out! And he has not just one, but THREE of these things, each with over 30 years' worth of starling corpses piled up in those cages. And judging by how many dead starlings I've seen in there, apparently it's really effective. Isn't that totally messed up?

Gibson Twist, December 5th, 2011, 3:15 am

@The_Hankerchief: Man, every time you tell a story, I feel like I have to brace myself. You should really start compiling this stuff and title it "No, Really, This Shit Happened".

And yes, that's about the worst thing I've ever heard.

The_Hankerchief, December 6th, 2011, 4:54 am

Don't you worry Gibson, a book is already in the works. I have yet to hear back from Harper Collins, though.

roxjey, December 7th, 2011, 12:28 am

My mom says she wants to live in my world every day XD

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